Resolving marital conflicts: The most effective ways | Safe and Sound
Disagreements about opinions, work, or family issues can sometimes lead to arguments, affecting the feelings and bond between spouses. However, resolving conflicts properly not only helps maintain a happy relationship but also helps both partners understand each other better. In this article, SnS psychology experts will share the most effective ways to resolve marital conflicts, from simple methods to seeking advice from a psychology professional.
Phi Thuy Linh | Bachelor of Public Health – Application of Safe and Sound Mental Health Care
Institute of Applied Medical Technology
1. Listen and understand the other person.
Listening to each other helps both understand each other better.
One of the most effective ways to resolve conflict is to listen to the other person. When conflict arises, each person often focuses only on defending their own point of view, ignoring the other person's feelings and opinions. This can make the situation increasingly tense and difficult to resolve.
Psychologists encourage couples to actively listen to each other, not just to hear words, but also to understand each other's emotions. The key to listening is to remain calm, listen with the intention of understanding rather than contradicting, and show attention through body language such as nodding or maintaining eye contact. Avoid interrupting or judging; instead, repeat the main points to confirm you understand. Ask constructive questions like, "What can we do to improve this?" to focus on solutions. If the conversation becomes too tense, suggest a break and return after you've calmed down. Listening helps both partners realize that each has their own reasons and feelings about the issue, creating an opportunity to find solutions together.
2. Stay calm and control your emotions.
In any argument, staying calm is incredibly important. When emotions are out of control, words can become harsher and more hurtful. If anger isn't controlled, the argument can drag on and escalate.
Psychologists suggest that to effectively resolve conflicts, both spouses need to control their emotions. Take time to breathe deeply and reflect on the issue before reacting. This helps maintain a calm conversation and avoid hurting the other person.
3. Avoid personal attacks.
When resolving conflicts, a common mistake is to criticize the individual instead of focusing on solving the problem. Saying things like "You're always like that" or "You never understand me" only increases tension without resolving anything.
According to psychological experts, when arguing, couples should focus on discussing the specific issue rather than criticizing each other. Instead of saying, "You're so inconsiderate!", say, "You could try to be more attentive to the family." This approach helps both partners feel respected and makes it easier to resolve the issue together.
4. Show empathy
Empathy is key to resolving marital conflicts. When conflicts arise, both sides often only see things from their own perspective. However, if each person tries to understand the other's feelings and viewpoints, the conflict will be easier to resolve.
Image Empathy is key to resolving marital conflicts.
Psychologists emphasize that empathy not only helps resolve conflicts but also builds lasting relationships. Trying to see the problem from the other person's perspective will help both of you understand each other better and overcome difficulties together.
5. Compromise and Flexibility
In any relationship, compromise is essential. When conflicts arise, spouses should work together to find a solution. This doesn't mean one person must completely accept the other's opinion, but rather finding common ground so that both can agree.
According to psychologists, compromise is key to maintaining harmony in a relationship. If one person always wants to win and refuses to compromise, conflicts will persist and the relationship is easily threatened. To effectively compromise during arguments, both partners need to identify the core issue and avoid bringing up past conflicts. Set common goals instead of seeking individual victory, viewing each other as a team working together to find a solution. Listening to each other's needs and desires without denying their feelings will help reduce tension. Most importantly, find a "win-win" solution that meets each person's expectations, even if it's not perfect.
6. Choose the right time to resolve conflicts.
Sometimes, trying to resolve a conflict immediately when both parties are tense may not be the best solution. Psychologists advise that when you're not calm enough, take time to think and discuss the issue later. Don't let the argument turn into a battle where both sides want to prove they're right.
Choosing the right time to discuss issues makes the conversation more effective. Both parties will find it easier to listen and work together to solve problems more objectively.
7. Create personal space for each person.
Sometimes, after an argument, having some space is essential. When you have space, each person has a chance to reflect on the issue and calm their emotions. This is time for both of you to recover mentally and avoid creating further unnecessary conflict.
Psychologists also suggest that having alone time helps individuals re-evaluate the importance of relationships and reduce negative emotions.
8. Support from a mental health professional
When conflicts become complex and cannot be resolved simply, seeking advice from a psychologist is a very helpful solution. A psychologist will help couples identify the root causes of the problem and provide effective conflict resolution methods.
According to psychologists, participating in couples therapy helps improve communication and resolve deep-seated issues in the relationship. Professionals will help couples learn how to communicate positively and resolve conflicts in a healthy way.
[Insert expert CTA banner]
9. Show love and care.
Despite conflicts and disagreements, love and care are crucial elements in maintaining a relationship. After every argument, spouses need to show each other love and care. Sometimes, a sincere apology or a thoughtful gesture can help ease tensions and rebuild the relationship.
Psychologists advise that couples should regularly express their love, even during difficult times. This will help strengthen and solidify the relationship.
10. Learn and grow together.
Marital relationships always require learning and growth. Couples can take courses in communication, conflict resolution skills, or read books and articles about relationships to improve their ability to manage emotions and solve problems.
Psychologists believe that learning and self-improvement helps couples develop in a healthy way and makes their relationship more sustainable.
Resolving marital conflicts isn't always easy, but if both spouses know how to behave, listen, and respect each other, problems can be solved. Sometimes, the help of a psychologist is essential to get the relationship back on track. These conflict resolution skills and methods not only help reduce stress but also strengthen the marital bond.
.png)
Safe and Sound Clinic - Psychological Support and Family Health
With a team of experienced doctors and experts, Safe and Sound Clinic is a pioneer in providing comprehensive healthcare for you and your family, offering services that cover both medical and psychological care.
"Early Prevention—Timely Support—Long-Term Companion."
If you suspect or encounter any physical or mental health issues, please contact HOTLINE 0964 778 911 (phone/Zalo, 24/7) for prompt assistance and support!
HOW TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT
You can schedule an online or in-person consultation with our experts:
- At SnS Clinic - IMT Institute
- Or download and schedule a consultation through the Safe and Sound app to manage and track your appointments anytime, anywhere.
Safe and Sound (SnS)—a part of the Institute of Medical Technology (IMT)
See more:
Should you secretly check your spouse's phone if you suspect infidelity?
Should a marriage be ended when one of your spouses is having an affair?
